What should I do?
A Play
By
Gyunhyeong Kim
Cast of Characters
PATRICIA A trainee actress
JOHN An acting trainer
Scene
An entertainment agency’s rehearsal room.
Time
Late Afternoon
JOHN
(When the audience takes seats, John enters saying “hello” to the audience and exchanging dialogues with them. And then,)
Who will start today?
PATRICIA
It’s me
JOHN
OK. Let’s get started!
PATRICIA
(to the control booth)
Music! (music starts)
(starts to recite her lines)
The messenger brought me great news.
The raven himself is hoarse
That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan
Under my battlements. Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here,
And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full
Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood;
Stop up the access and passage to remorse,
That no compunctious visitings of nature
Shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between
The effect and it! Come to my woman's breasts,
And take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers,
Wherever in your sightless substances
You wait on nature's mischief! Come, thick night,
And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell,
That my keen knife see not the wound it makes,
Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark,
To cry 'Hold, hold!'
JOHN
(not so satisfied)
OK, Not so bad, not so bad, but don't you think that your expression is not convincing? This woman's feelings should be included in her words. She’s a really evil-minded woman, but your personality seems basically too naïve, innocent and weak to perform this kind of strong character. That’s why you need to practice a strong delivery like the one of Lady Macbeth. OK? Don’t forget “Strong!” Try it again from “Come, you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts.”
PATRICIA
Come, you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here and fill me …
JOHN
Wait! Do you know the meaning of what you are saying?
PATRICIA
Of course! I know it perfectly. It’s the moment of action!
JOHN
OK, and then what will happen after this scene?
PATRICIA
After this scene? I don't know.
JOHN
You don’t know? Really? And then, do you know what happened before this scene?
PATRICIA
No, I don't. I practice only these lines. The boss just gave me them. That’s all. Why do you want me to know before and after the lines? Furthermore, is it necessary to know about those things?
JOHN
(trying to be patient)
Is it necessary? Didn’t anybody ever teach you that you must know those kinds of things in acting?
PATRICIA
Nope.
JOHN
Nope? Really? OK. It can be. It can be. The boss might forget to say that. OK. I’ll say that. Remember this clearly. Once you get the lines, always figure out what happened before and what will happen after the scene! Got it?
PATRICIA
I see. I’ll remember it, but I think I can completely understand the meaning of the lines once I deduct from what I read. I can understand them in totality even though I didn’t read the whole text because I read so many books that I can guess the story and I usually don’t get it wrong.
JOHN
You may be right. You may know lots of things by guessing but you have to know all the background of the character to understand it totally and express it completely using your entire thought and whole body.
PATRICIA
Yes, I agree with you, but I can really understand the character. It’s a piece of cake. I can apply psychology, sociology, and culture as well to fully understand and sufficiently express it. With these subjects, I can also easily analyze the very subtle aspects of the character and forecast the story.
JOHN
OK. You know lots of things, but this is theatre. And in theatre, there are lots of different aspects of human beings that we can’t totally understand even with various academic knowledge that you have. But, what I am talking about now? We have to rehearse, not debate. Anyway an artistic creation can’t be achieved by studying and particularly by guessing. OK?
PATRICIA
I’ll keep it in mind.
JOHN
Because you know lots of things, I assume that, of course, you know where these lines come from. It’s a piece of cake. The author and the play?
PATRICIA
I don't know.
JOHN
What? You don't know the play and the author? Really? You said you read lots of things. Not Shakespeare? And, nobody ever told you that you must read and analyze the play itself and the character once you are given the lines?
PATRICIA
I don’t remember exactly, but maybe…
JOHN
Maybe? Maybe you were taught this?
PATRICIA
Maybe… Is it important? Maybe somebody told me.
JOHN
You think so. So, you were taught this, weren’t you?
PATRICIA
Maybe yes, I think I was taught to do what you are saying.
JOHN
Yes! You were taught to know about the play, but you didn't do that preparation for these lines? Why not? Why didn't you follow the instructions? Why? Every trainee here knows that.
(To somebody in the audience supposed to be a trainee just like the actors)
Which play do these lines come from? Do you know? Who knows?
(Somebody will answer…)
You see? Even this trainee actor knows the play. Why don’t you? It’s like, you don’t know who you are! Do you think that’s possible?
(to audience again)
OK. Thanks a lot. While we are on the subject, how about explaining a bit more about Macbeth? Can you tell us the basic story of Macbeth? Short, please.
(after s/he explained)
Thanks.
(to PATRICIA again)
In this scene, your husband is with the king that you and he will kill tonight! You are sharpening the knife to plunge into the king at the palace! Can you understand the scene now?
PATRICIA
Yes. I understand. As I already said, I completely know about the character.
(to The control booth)
Music! (music starts)
(and she continues)
It is like a description of the cruelty of a child who is killing an ant with the light concentrated by a magnifying glass...
JOHN
What?
PATRICIA
So, there is a kind of sharpness at the moment when hyenas find the chance to rob the prey from lions.
JOHN
What???
PATRICIA
So, let's say, the shepherd who lied twice that there were wolves … and sheep… so the cruelty .... I am sorry...
JOHN
Get out!
PATRICIA
I'm so sorry.
JOHN
Get out of here!
PATRICIA
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I do my best! What I want to say is there’s a strong moment where we can’t even breathe easily as if we are running away from the rhinoceros in our dream and, suddenly, there are lots of snakes…
JOHN
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
(rushes to the stage)
What the hell? How can you act without knowing what to say? Shepherd? Hyenas? And what? Rhinoceros? Do you want to make a juvenile drama? Is this Brementown’s musicians? Are you crazy? I can't understand why my boss admitted you. Go back home and find anything other than acting and be happy! Bye, bye!
PATRICIA
No, don't say that, please! What I want to do is acting. I already auditioned in front of the boss. Acting is my life itself. I dreamed about this life for so long. Without acting I can’t continue my life. It’s like going to hell with a cross on my back.
JOHN
What? Oh, my God!
(He can’t find things to say. He was totally stunned.)
Anyway, That’s what I can’t understand. Now show me what you've already proven. Show me your competence! Please!
PATRICIA
(to The control booth)
Music! (music starts)
(and she continues)
O, my Romeo, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
JOHN
I think you are still too young to understand how difficult life is. Don't think life’s so easy! Yes, you want to act, but I’ll give you some advice. Don’t always try to do what you want, but be adaptable and do what you naturally do well, and then with some hard work you can have a successful and happy life. You understand that?
PATRICIA
I really want to act. I have dreamed about it for such a long time ever since I was very young. I exercised every day and I had been trained for a long time. Acting is my life.
JOHN
But I think your competence is not enough to be an actress.
PATRICIA
That’s why I’m here. I want to learn how to act. I’m totally ready to be an actress. I’m like a beautiful small chick inside an egg waiting to be hatched.
JOHN
You said you have studied acting for a long time. I know you want to act but I also know you are not competent. How long have we been practicing these lines? About two weeks? During two weeks, what did you achieve? I am sorry for saying that but you don’t have any talent.
PATRICIA
Not everybody has talent.
JOHN
You may be right. However, it seems talent matters in some fields such as the Arts, and I have never seen a trainee who stays always at the same place without going ahead at the end of two weeks of practicing.
PATRICIA
I want to act even though I probably can’t become a good actress.
JOHN
You seem not to understand what I mean. You can’t become an actress, even a bad actress because you won’t have a chance to be selected.
PATRICIA
How do you know that?
JOHN
I’m here for a long time and have trained so many good and bad actors. You must be gifted even a little, very little if you want to be selected for any role.
PATRICIA
I know, I know what being gifted means. It’s like opening a gift box filled with lots of different delicious cookies.
JOHN
What do you mean?
PATRICIA
It’s like Wonderful Adventures of Nils who voyaged over the world…
JOHN
Stop! Please stop. I’m dying.
(He takes out a cigarette.)
PATRICIA
JOHN! No smoking, here. It’s the law.
JOHN
What? It’s the law?
PATRICIA
Yes, it’s the law.
JOHN
OK. It’s the law. (He is completely stunned and takes the cigarette back to the pocket.)
PATRICIA
Thanks. I appreciate it.
JOHN
Oh, my God. OK. I don’t know what to say. Let’s practice your lines again.
PATRICIA
(yelling)
Come, you spirits That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, And fill me from the crown to the toe top full Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood;
JOHN
Are you satisfied?
PATRICIA
Yes, I can feel something very hot which will be exploded right now from my heart like inside a volcano. “Come, you spirits That tend on mortal thoughts,”
JOHN
Stop! You really don't know the desire of this woman. And what are you saying? What? Hyenas? Shepard's? Volcano? Are you crazy?
PATRICIA
I’m sorry, but that’s what I feel. I can really feel my heart hot and roaring.
JOHN
OK. Good. Let’s do it just one more time. This time, just show me your hot and roaring heart!
PATRICIA
(Yelling again)
Come, you spirits That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, And fill me from the crown to the toe top full Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood;
JOHN
Where’s your hot and roaring heart? Show it to me! Where? Contemplate the desire and the greed of Lady Macbeth. She’s the woman who has the cruel tongue and greed which instigates her husband's desire for violence.
PATRICIA
I see. What I mean is…
JOHN
Please, oh please feel the cruel double face of some human beings.
PATRICIA
Yes, you are right, I know that. You mean I must feel the double possibilities of amphibians which breathe with their lungs as well as with their skin. Can’t you understand this?
JOHN
What?
PATRICIA
You know, the amphibians breathe using their lungs and their skin at the same time.
JOHN
What are you talking about?
PATRICIA
Yes, the amphibians…
JOHN
Feel, just feel. This woman would snap the neck of her child at her breast! Repeat!
PATRICIA
This woman would snap the neck of her child at her breast!
JOHN
That's right. Feel her greed!
PATRICIA
(trying to concentrate)
Her greed, desire. Desire like the wolves which want to get the power when…
JOHN
(sick and tired of her comparisons)
Shut up!
PATRICIA
Come, you spirits That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, And fill me from the crown to the toe top full Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood;
JOHN
(Going to Patricia and having taken her backpack and giving it to her.)
Good. You may be totally satisfied now but I am totally unsatisfied right now. And I’m dying if I don’t smoke right now. But because I’m a good citizen who doesn’t want to violate any law like you, I’ll disappear to smoke outside right now! Bye, bye!
(He leaves.)
PATRICIA
(crying)
I can do it. I can really do it … great. Like the strong leaping swan which was mocked by ducks, I can make it. I can do it.
(She again starts to recite the lines)
Come, you spirits That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, And fill me from the crown to the toe top full Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood;
(Realizing the incompetence of herself)
I can’t do it, I just can’t do it. I know I’m not a good actress, but this is what I want to do. I really want to go in this direction. But I’m not good at all. I may not even have real opportunities to realize my dream and my life will be completely ruined. Should I go back home?
(Packing again her backpack, she discovers the painting of her father she painted. Looking at it,)
Dad!
(Dad appears and music start. They spend a happy moment together. When dad left the stage,)
Dad, Oh my dad, I’m so sad because I got lost. I don’t know what to do and where to go. What should I do? Dad, please help me, please say to me. I remember what you said when I left home. You said 100 – 1 is not 99 but 0. I couldn’t understand it at that moment. I now understand it. No matter how much and how hard I struggle, nothing makes any sense if I am not selected. Because I have no talent for acting, my result will always be 0. That’s why you wanted me to continue to do paining. But as you know, painting hurts me. It really makes me nervous and deprives me of sleep. It fills me with anxiety and drives me crazy. I can’t bear to stay in my room all alone painting. Even though many people like my paintings, it is too challenging for me to do them. That’s why I decided to become an actress.
(music starts and Patricia recites the lines of Juliet)
O, my Romeo, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
(She continues)
Yes, you knew who I was, what I was able to do. You knew that I am not strong enough to overcome the problems. I am also not such an outgoing person. You knew that and I also knew that. Maybe, acting is not for me and I have to go back home.
(When she prepares to go home, music starts and she dreams of receiving the Oscar.)
Thank you very much everybody. It’s a big honor for me to receive this Oscar. I really appreciate those who have helped me, my manager, my trainer and especially my father who encouraged me to be who I am today. Thank you, Dad, I got it, I made it.
(She cries again.)
Dad, please help me. Dad.
JOHN
(appearing)
You didn’t leave yet? Go back home as soon as possible and find a new life.
(discovering the painting)
What’s this? What a beautiful painting this is! Who painted it? You painted it?
PATRICIA
Yes.
JOHN
It’s amazing! Let me see more. These lines, these colors and this composition! Your painting is really impressive. You are already a good artist. Do you have some more?
PATRICIA
(She hands him some paintings.)
But I don’t like painting as much as acting. I want to be an actress.
JOHN
But painting is what you do well. With painting, you may have more possibilities to have a successful life.
PATRICIA
But that is not what I want to do. I want to act. I want to be in the theater.
JOHN
Wait, if it is really your intention to work in the theatre, you may find something that asks your painting skills. Maybe, scenic design or lighting design. Lots of artistic work is available in the theatre. Doing that, you may still stay in the field of theatre.
PATRICIA
Maybe I can possibly stay in the theatre. But it’s not doing acting. I want to act, I want to be an actress.
JOHN
I know, I know what you want. But you can’t always do what you want to do. What’s important is that we have to live our life and if possible, try to achieve a successful life. And the successful life can be more easily achieved by doing what you do well than what you want to do. And who knows, you may have a chance to act, if you stay in the theatre field?
PATRICIA
(to herself)
Staying in the theatre or painting?
JOHN
I think you need to think more about your choice.
PATRICIA
The choice?
(Music starts.)
JOHN
Yes, the choice. In our short and irreversible life, we’ll encounter lots of moments where we have to make a choice. What we choose always determines our life. In many cases, we can’t reverse a decision. Even though we do that, it may be too late sometimes. And also, we have to struggle again from the beginning, especially if we made a bad decision. I think it’s the time for you to think really seriously about the choice and make your own choice so you don’t regret it later.
PATRICIA
What should I choose? What I do well or what I want to do? Painting or acting? I don’t know. JOHN, I need time to think about my choice. I didn’t think about the importance of my decision so far, but, yes, you are right, a bad decision can take me in the wrong direction. I’d better be more thoughtful about my future.
JOHN
OK. The choice really matters.
PATRICIA
I’ll come back no matter what my choice is.
(She leaves the stage.)
JOHN
I’ll be waiting for you.
(to PATRICIA’s back)
You know what, you really paint well. I like it.
PATRICIA
Thanks.
(She leaves the stage and the lights go out. The end.)
JOHN
OK. Let’s wrap it up today. Thanks.
(He leaves the stage.)
The End.
